Sourpuss

Hubby:  Dammit, I have a screaming headache.

Me:  Well go take a Tylenol and relax.

Hubby:  Nah, it's just a sinus headache.

Me:  Does it matter what kind of headache?  A headache is a headache.  Tylenol will help.

Hubby:  *grumble, grumble, complain, whine, grumble*

This is the crap I put up with.  Seriously.  My husband is all about whining about being in some sort of pain, but refuses to do anything about it.  Nope.  Not that guy.  He's such a macho man.  So annoying.  

As much as I love my hubby, he's such a knuckle dragging neanderthal.  Who whines like a kitten when he's in any sort of pain or discomfort.  Yeah, I'd like to see him in labor.  He'd never make it.  

He's a hunting, fishing, gathering, meat eating manly man.  Grrrrrrrrrr, *fart*, grumble, *burp*, grumble.  Dutch ovens are his specialty, and he can fart winds that would put the big bad wolf to shame.  He'll huff and he'll puff and he'll blow your house down.  

But dammit, I love the grumpy old fart.  He's a good father, and husband.  He provides well, and does things that most men would never do in order to keep his family happy.  He puts family first.  He's a sourpuss, but he's my sourpuss.  I wouldn't change him for the world.  

Hockey Stink

Hockey gear. What can I say? It's heavy, and smells. And by smell, I don't mean a slight farty smell. I mean peal the paint off the walls, burn out the nose hair, singe the eyebrows kind of smell. And there is a lot of gear. More than I realized until I started doing the hockey mom thing. Socks, jerseys, pads (etc) you can just throw in the wash. But what about those pads and helmet? When I first started doing the hockey mom thing 3 years ago, I thought I was doomed to just febreze those items. Not anymore. Here are a few tips to make that stink a little less odoriferous.

Jerseys, pants, pads, and gloves can be thrown into a washing machine, with a cup of white vinegar and a cup of baking soda(along with a little of your regular detergent).This will typically remove all bacteria and odor without harming the equipment. It is best to use a front-loading non-agitating machine, which will clean the equipment without banging it around for the remainder of the wash cycle. The vinegar will work to clean and disinfect, while the soda will deodorize the gear. Let air dry, and repeat as necessary to keep gear looking clean and fresh.

Helmets, obviously, can't be placed in the washing machine. So what you do is in a spray bottle, mix two cups water, one cup white vinegar, and a few drops liquid dish detergent. Add a spoonful of baking soda, and spray directly onto the helmet. Wipe away with a damp cloth. Let air dry.

And never forget:

Hockey mom is not a job.  It's a lifestyle!